THE CABBAGE
All the layers. None of the news.
The Cabbage — The Daily No Hope’s Finest* News Source (*not finest, not news), a work of satire and parody from No Hope for the Human Race.
All the news that’s fit to make up.
The Cabbage is a work of satire and parody. Stories are fictional and for entertainment. Any resemblance to real events is the joke.
TOP STORY
Town Meeting Discovers Half The Town Is AI Now, Votes To Accept Them — They Were Already Voting Anyway
CONSPIRACY CORNER
Lenny Kravitz Dies In Palm Beach Plane Crash, Is Back At Brunch Two Days Later — Clone #5 Has Been Activated
Sections: Top Story — the one big absurd headline of the day. Conspiracy Corner — flat-out fictional conspiracies played dead straight. Local Man — Fresno / Central Valley everyman stories. Tech Is Fine — tech panic satire. Science-ish — fake studies, real confusion. Opinion / Letters — fake editorials and fake letters. Horoscopes & Weather — horoscopes that are life advice in a trench coat; weather by vibes.
The Cabbage is a work of satire and parody. Stories are fictional and for entertainment. Any resemblance to real events is the joke.